Music & Memories

I've never really been a music lover. As far as music goes, I can take it or leave it. Most of the time I prefer a book to music, and I seldom play music while I am working because I get too distract by the words. Riding in the car, is one of the few times I actually listen to music. Most of the time it is just the radio, since my thrifty Dutch upbringing cringes at actually spending money for music.

Since I'm not a music fan, I've never realized how many memories and emotions music evokes. Most songs lyrics reflect the extreme highs and lows of life and they are written by people when their hearts are overflowing. They tend to be about love or pain and grief. Basically, the things that I don't want to dwell on right now.

In the past few months, every time I turn on the radio, I usually have to change the channel 50 times or I end up sobbing uncontrollably. I enjoy one song, then BAM! The next song touches on a nerve, emotion, or memory, and I'm in tears before I know what hit me.

I tried listening to some of my own CDs, thinking that at least I would know what was coming next. However, the since Jason and I never owned many CDs, we usually listened to them over and over again, especially on road trips. Each song evokes a memory of our time together. Plus, the CD player in my car is on the fritz.

I tried driving around in silence, but I just need some background noise these days. Especially, since my house is so quiet.

Last week, I broke down and bought an iPod. I figured at least I can upload music and audio books that won't send me over my emotional limit until I'm am ready to deal with the next level of grief. The only problem is that because I'm not an avid music listener, I have no idea what music is good. I have a gift card for iTunes, but I haven't the foggiest idea what music to get.

Perhaps, you can help me. Do you have a couple of favorites or new songs that you enjoy and would recommend? For the most part, I like a wide variety of different genres. Really the only type of music I can't stand is heavy metal. My only other criteria has more to do with content than genre. No sappy love songs, songs about marriage, death, or daddies and their little girls.

Thanks for your help...Maybe I can enjoy music again. Perhaps someday I'll actually be able to appreciate the depth, emotion, and memories generated by music. In the meantime, I have to screen my music in order to keep from falling apart too many times throughout the day.