Tonight I was really missing Jason, so I left the house. Since Crossvegas does not exactly offer a plethora of evening activities, I decided to hang out at the most happening place in town...Wal-Mart. I figured that Wal-Mart on a Friday night would offer me a enough distraction and entertainment. Instead of taking my mind off Jason, everything is reminded me of him. I was wandering aimlessly around the store putting odd combinations of items in my buggie (or shopping cart for all of you non-Southerners). I'm sure I looked like a complete freak carrying Abigail in a sling with tears streaming down my face trying out baby toys. If that is not weird enough, my cart was filled with completely random things like tennis shoes, oil, baby socks, yogurt, a movie, oranges, sunglasses, a tooth brush, tomato juice, stationary, African tribal music, dog bones and a pair of pants.
People who have gone through intense grief before tell me the days get harder before they get easier. When will it start getting easier? I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I miss him so much it's gut-wrenching. I can't even fathom hurting more.
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