This is the first time in ages that I've had a lazy Saturday morning, and I am loving it. Abigail, woke up at about 6:30 am ready to go for the day, and I couldn't persuade her to go back to sleep. However after a little breakfast, she is as happy as a clam to scoot around the room playing with her wooden blocks, magnets, and Little Mermaid Cell phone. Her ability to entertain herself is allowing me some leisurely time to snuggle in my favorite chair with my cup of coffee and take a deep breath.
After five months of busy Saturday mornings, I am relishing every moment! (Okay, the second after I finished typing that sentence, the dog started barking at a neighbor. I went to call him, and when I returned I discovered that Abigail had scooted under the end table and couldn't figure out to get free. After freeing and comforting her, I am back.)
I don't have tons to say this morning because I am just trying to relax and forget about all of the big life decisions and details that are hanging over my head. Fall is in the air and I am kind of excited for the changing season and a bit homesick for the farm. Every year for the past six years, I have been in Iowa in October for harvest. Jason always loved driving the combine and working with Dad in the cool fall weather. We both enjoyed a week or two of family, fun, and farm life.
Today, I don't have a huge list of things that I have to accomplish immediately, so I am contemplating taking bit of a leisurely day. I think Jenna and I might even take Abigail to a local pumpkin patch and corn maze, which is a close as we can get to fall on the farm in Crossville. I'm sure it can't begin to compare to going to Vala's in Gretna, NE with my brother's family, but hopefully, it will at least provide some good fall photo opps with Abigail.
A relaxing cup of coffee always make me think and evaluate my life. Currently, I have been so busy with all of the crazy changes in my life that I haven't even taken the time to reflect. Lately I have been missing Jason like crazy. I miss having him to bounce ideas off of help me make decisions. I miss snuggling under the covers and on cool fall mornings. I just miss sharing life.
I don't know if missing him hurts more or less than it used to. I think the grief has changed a little bit as the reality of him being gone forever sets in. I know I have to keep moving forward and taking the next step. However, with all of the big changes of life and work (selling and buying houses and cars, moving to a new town in a new state, new job responsibilities and co-workers, life with a toddler, tons of traveling)I am reeling and wishing that at least one thing in my life would remain the same.
The other day one of my acquaintances asked me, if I had started dating again. I'm sure I gave her the most incredulous look. My mind can't even begin to grasp the concept of dating again. I still feel like I am married, and I'm definitely not even thinking along those lines. Her question caught me off guard, and I gave her some sort of vague negative answer. However, I was kind of frustrated with question from acquaintance. What gives people the right to think that they could or should ask questions like that so soon after the death of my nearest and dearest friend and companion?
Okay, I should I just finished the last sip coffee, so I should quit rambling and start my day.
After five months of busy Saturday mornings, I am relishing every moment! (Okay, the second after I finished typing that sentence, the dog started barking at a neighbor. I went to call him, and when I returned I discovered that Abigail had scooted under the end table and couldn't figure out to get free. After freeing and comforting her, I am back.)
I don't have tons to say this morning because I am just trying to relax and forget about all of the big life decisions and details that are hanging over my head. Fall is in the air and I am kind of excited for the changing season and a bit homesick for the farm. Every year for the past six years, I have been in Iowa in October for harvest. Jason always loved driving the combine and working with Dad in the cool fall weather. We both enjoyed a week or two of family, fun, and farm life.
Today, I don't have a huge list of things that I have to accomplish immediately, so I am contemplating taking bit of a leisurely day. I think Jenna and I might even take Abigail to a local pumpkin patch and corn maze, which is a close as we can get to fall on the farm in Crossville. I'm sure it can't begin to compare to going to Vala's in Gretna, NE with my brother's family, but hopefully, it will at least provide some good fall photo opps with Abigail.
A relaxing cup of coffee always make me think and evaluate my life. Currently, I have been so busy with all of the crazy changes in my life that I haven't even taken the time to reflect. Lately I have been missing Jason like crazy. I miss having him to bounce ideas off of help me make decisions. I miss snuggling under the covers and on cool fall mornings. I just miss sharing life.
I don't know if missing him hurts more or less than it used to. I think the grief has changed a little bit as the reality of him being gone forever sets in. I know I have to keep moving forward and taking the next step. However, with all of the big changes of life and work (selling and buying houses and cars, moving to a new town in a new state, new job responsibilities and co-workers, life with a toddler, tons of traveling)I am reeling and wishing that at least one thing in my life would remain the same.
The other day one of my acquaintances asked me, if I had started dating again. I'm sure I gave her the most incredulous look. My mind can't even begin to grasp the concept of dating again. I still feel like I am married, and I'm definitely not even thinking along those lines. Her question caught me off guard, and I gave her some sort of vague negative answer. However, I was kind of frustrated with question from acquaintance. What gives people the right to think that they could or should ask questions like that so soon after the death of my nearest and dearest friend and companion?
Okay, I should I just finished the last sip coffee, so I should quit rambling and start my day.
3 comments:
We'll miss your October visit too. One thing that is still the same in your life is that Mom and Dad and many others love you and Abigail very,very much. We hope you will go to the pumpkin patch and have fun. We'll be waiting for a picture or two. Mom and Dad
First of all your house looks amazing! You did a beautiful job decorating it!!! I am so envious of that tub. As for dating and questions like that, I am never really sure why people think those things are even their business? It is mind boggling to me. Do you have photos of you new house yet???
Hugs!
Hey Joy!
I just did a bit of catch-up on your blog. It's so good to read! And see pics of adorable Abigail. I really appreciate reading about how you're doing first-hand...and aww sweet comment from your mom and dad, above:) Hm..I cannot believe that dating question. That must have been so upsetting...I'm sorry someone asked it, Joy. :/
Lots of love, Monica (and hi to Jenna!)
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