Today, Abigail tried on her Halloween costume that I bought for $2 on clearance last Thanksgiving. Isn't she a cute duckling?
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
CP News
If you want to find out what is new at Confrontation Point, and you haven't already received the CP Newsletter via email or Facebook. You can check it out!www.confrontationpoint.org/publications/Fall_2008.pdf
Jealousy
I don't normally think of myself as a jealous person. Overall, I am usually fairly content with my lot in life. However, lately I've been struggling with feelings of jealousy.
I first noticed it several weeks ago. I was in a coffee shop working via their wireless connection. At the next table, four moms with young children were chatting and having some Bible Study and prayer time. From the little bit of their conversation I overheard, I gathered that they were stay at home moms enjoying their weekly girl time. I was jealous that I had to spend my morning working.
Since that moment I have noticed feeling of jealousy creeping in. It usually happens when I see dads playing with their children or couples holding hands. When I hear songs on the radio about Daddy's little girls growing up, I have to change the station.
Recently, I found out that several of my friends are expecting their second and third children. I am happy and excited for them, but I am also a little jealous. Jason and I wanted a medium to large size family that was fairly close in age. We even hoped that I would be pregnant again by now. I glad my friends are building their families, and I know they will have struggles with multiple young children that I won't have to face, but still...I wish it were me.
As of September, my friend Jenna has been living with me and taking care of Abigail while I am at work. I like to call her the Nanny! I love Jenna, and her willingness to help me out, but I am jealous that she gets to spend all day with my little girl while I have to go work to support our family. I wanted to be the one to raise and care for my daughter.
I know that all of the people I am jealous of have their own set of issues and struggles. I also know that I have been blessed in tons of other ways. Even though Jason and I had four and a half great years of marriage, it is kind of hard for me not to feel cheated out of another 44 years. I am just praying jealousy doesn't overwhelm me. I don't want to become a bitter, self-centered woman, always wishing and longing for something else.
I know that godliness with contentment is great gain, but I'm struggling with the contentment part right now. (I struggle with the godliness part all the time).
I first noticed it several weeks ago. I was in a coffee shop working via their wireless connection. At the next table, four moms with young children were chatting and having some Bible Study and prayer time. From the little bit of their conversation I overheard, I gathered that they were stay at home moms enjoying their weekly girl time. I was jealous that I had to spend my morning working.
Since that moment I have noticed feeling of jealousy creeping in. It usually happens when I see dads playing with their children or couples holding hands. When I hear songs on the radio about Daddy's little girls growing up, I have to change the station.
Recently, I found out that several of my friends are expecting their second and third children. I am happy and excited for them, but I am also a little jealous. Jason and I wanted a medium to large size family that was fairly close in age. We even hoped that I would be pregnant again by now. I glad my friends are building their families, and I know they will have struggles with multiple young children that I won't have to face, but still...I wish it were me.
As of September, my friend Jenna has been living with me and taking care of Abigail while I am at work. I like to call her the Nanny! I love Jenna, and her willingness to help me out, but I am jealous that she gets to spend all day with my little girl while I have to go work to support our family. I wanted to be the one to raise and care for my daughter.
I know that all of the people I am jealous of have their own set of issues and struggles. I also know that I have been blessed in tons of other ways. Even though Jason and I had four and a half great years of marriage, it is kind of hard for me not to feel cheated out of another 44 years. I am just praying jealousy doesn't overwhelm me. I don't want to become a bitter, self-centered woman, always wishing and longing for something else.
I know that godliness with contentment is great gain, but I'm struggling with the contentment part right now. (I struggle with the godliness part all the time).
My New House In Wilmore
Here is a short slideshow of the house I am planning to buy in Wilmore. Unfortunately, the battery on my camera died, so I didn't get very many pictures.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
A Cup of Coffee On Saturday Morning
This is the first time in ages that I've had a lazy Saturday morning, and I am loving it. Abigail, woke up at about 6:30 am ready to go for the day, and I couldn't persuade her to go back to sleep. However after a little breakfast, she is as happy as a clam to scoot around the room playing with her wooden blocks, magnets, and Little Mermaid Cell phone. Her ability to entertain herself is allowing me some leisurely time to snuggle in my favorite chair with my cup of coffee and take a deep breath.
After five months of busy Saturday mornings, I am relishing every moment! (Okay, the second after I finished typing that sentence, the dog started barking at a neighbor. I went to call him, and when I returned I discovered that Abigail had scooted under the end table and couldn't figure out to get free. After freeing and comforting her, I am back.)
I don't have tons to say this morning because I am just trying to relax and forget about all of the big life decisions and details that are hanging over my head. Fall is in the air and I am kind of excited for the changing season and a bit homesick for the farm. Every year for the past six years, I have been in Iowa in October for harvest. Jason always loved driving the combine and working with Dad in the cool fall weather. We both enjoyed a week or two of family, fun, and farm life.
Today, I don't have a huge list of things that I have to accomplish immediately, so I am contemplating taking bit of a leisurely day. I think Jenna and I might even take Abigail to a local pumpkin patch and corn maze, which is a close as we can get to fall on the farm in Crossville. I'm sure it can't begin to compare to going to Vala's in Gretna, NE with my brother's family, but hopefully, it will at least provide some good fall photo opps with Abigail.
A relaxing cup of coffee always make me think and evaluate my life. Currently, I have been so busy with all of the crazy changes in my life that I haven't even taken the time to reflect. Lately I have been missing Jason like crazy. I miss having him to bounce ideas off of help me make decisions. I miss snuggling under the covers and on cool fall mornings. I just miss sharing life.
I don't know if missing him hurts more or less than it used to. I think the grief has changed a little bit as the reality of him being gone forever sets in. I know I have to keep moving forward and taking the next step. However, with all of the big changes of life and work (selling and buying houses and cars, moving to a new town in a new state, new job responsibilities and co-workers, life with a toddler, tons of traveling)I am reeling and wishing that at least one thing in my life would remain the same.
The other day one of my acquaintances asked me, if I had started dating again. I'm sure I gave her the most incredulous look. My mind can't even begin to grasp the concept of dating again. I still feel like I am married, and I'm definitely not even thinking along those lines. Her question caught me off guard, and I gave her some sort of vague negative answer. However, I was kind of frustrated with question from acquaintance. What gives people the right to think that they could or should ask questions like that so soon after the death of my nearest and dearest friend and companion?
Okay, I should I just finished the last sip coffee, so I should quit rambling and start my day.
After five months of busy Saturday mornings, I am relishing every moment! (Okay, the second after I finished typing that sentence, the dog started barking at a neighbor. I went to call him, and when I returned I discovered that Abigail had scooted under the end table and couldn't figure out to get free. After freeing and comforting her, I am back.)
I don't have tons to say this morning because I am just trying to relax and forget about all of the big life decisions and details that are hanging over my head. Fall is in the air and I am kind of excited for the changing season and a bit homesick for the farm. Every year for the past six years, I have been in Iowa in October for harvest. Jason always loved driving the combine and working with Dad in the cool fall weather. We both enjoyed a week or two of family, fun, and farm life.
Today, I don't have a huge list of things that I have to accomplish immediately, so I am contemplating taking bit of a leisurely day. I think Jenna and I might even take Abigail to a local pumpkin patch and corn maze, which is a close as we can get to fall on the farm in Crossville. I'm sure it can't begin to compare to going to Vala's in Gretna, NE with my brother's family, but hopefully, it will at least provide some good fall photo opps with Abigail.
A relaxing cup of coffee always make me think and evaluate my life. Currently, I have been so busy with all of the crazy changes in my life that I haven't even taken the time to reflect. Lately I have been missing Jason like crazy. I miss having him to bounce ideas off of help me make decisions. I miss snuggling under the covers and on cool fall mornings. I just miss sharing life.
I don't know if missing him hurts more or less than it used to. I think the grief has changed a little bit as the reality of him being gone forever sets in. I know I have to keep moving forward and taking the next step. However, with all of the big changes of life and work (selling and buying houses and cars, moving to a new town in a new state, new job responsibilities and co-workers, life with a toddler, tons of traveling)I am reeling and wishing that at least one thing in my life would remain the same.
The other day one of my acquaintances asked me, if I had started dating again. I'm sure I gave her the most incredulous look. My mind can't even begin to grasp the concept of dating again. I still feel like I am married, and I'm definitely not even thinking along those lines. Her question caught me off guard, and I gave her some sort of vague negative answer. However, I was kind of frustrated with question from acquaintance. What gives people the right to think that they could or should ask questions like that so soon after the death of my nearest and dearest friend and companion?
Okay, I should I just finished the last sip coffee, so I should quit rambling and start my day.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Before & After
After three long years of gutting and remodeling, our home is finally completed. Several of you have been bugging me for pictures of the changes. Unfortunately, we did not get very many before pictures, but I did put together a slideshow with some of our pictures. You can check it out my previous post(Before Remodeling).
If you want to see the finished project you can check out the Welcome To My Home link below. (If you scroll about halfway down the page, you can take a "virtual" tour.)
Welcome To My Home
If you want to see the finished project you can check out the Welcome To My Home link below. (If you scroll about halfway down the page, you can take a "virtual" tour.)
Welcome To My Home
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